Does Your 2024 Word of the Year Scare You?

Let’s start here. I admit I’m scared of the word I’ve chosen for 2024. It’s a finger on a tender place that I know I need to surrender—and I’m not sure I’m ready. My word of the year will spin me to face the mirror and truths I have a hard time believing about myself. Draw me into the arms of Jesus who listens with compassion etched into every line on His face.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been self-critical, self-controlled, and self-dismissive. Flexible, stubbornly preference-free, and relentlessly hard on myself. As a student, I’d take care of the less important projects first because A-work submitted on time was my unbending expectation, and I got more done this way. Motherhood taught me to tackle the most important things first because far more was out of my control.

Control. That uncomfortable word we’d like to avoid. I naively thought I didn’t have a problem with control because it was self-directed. Jennifer Dukes Lee kindly said otherwise in her book, It’s All Under Control. Right in the very first chapter, I read, “Mostly, I wanted to control myself. If ever I had high expectations of anyone, it was of me. I wanted to present the self-assured, together version of my whole being” (pg. 2). Yes, same. Maybe for you too.

Self-strictness can leave you dangerously near empty. You look for answers within your own iron will and push for perfection and of course, you fall short. So you fixate on the flaws and squirm inside if anyone else names what you can’t see in yourself.

It takes your own gratitude challenge to show you how much easier it is to say thanks than to receive it. You admit your tendency to dismiss, deflect, dis-believe words meant to encourage you.

When Jennifer describes you spot on with this description in It’s All Under Control of one of the three control types she coined, you know you and God have more work to do:

She’s “energized by internal order; a desire to be the best version of herself.”

She “plays by the rules, attends to details, focuses on self-improvement.”

“She doesn’t give up easily, inspiring others to do the same.”

“She feels the need to be strict with herself.”

“She assumes you’re not being truthful if you pay her a compliment.”

pgs. 262-63

And when a friend who knows your struggle mails the kindest note, along with a challenge to believe every word, you tuck it into It’s All Under Control as a bookmark. It’s no surprise, really, when God tugs one more time, this through a line in Ann Voskamp’s Advent devotional, The Greatest Gift:

You know you have an idol whenever you have to perform. You know you have a Baal that needs to be cut down whenever you cut yourself down.

My Word of the Year Scares Me

All these threads interlaced as I was praying about my word of the year for 2024. Not a coincidence. A word is a powerful direction-setter. It will stick with you through slow learning and plenty of re-learning. Prompt you to keep pressing in when you’d rather quit. Shape the conversations between you and God. And yet—relentlessly require that you be honest. Expose faulty beliefs. Dig deep into what’s beneath.

That’s why it scares me. It’s the good-hard that leads to freedom. I’d rather ignore the way I spin compliments negative. Change the conversation and think nothing of it. But I guess I’m not getting off that easily.

We’ll circle back to the word I picked for next year because this might hit a chord for you too. First, though, let’s talk process for picking a word.

How to Know You’ve Landed on the Right Word

Maybe you’ve got an inkling of what your word for next year needs to be. There’s a thread that keeps popping up. A misplaced belief being challenged. You know that thing God’s asking you to let go or reorder, and it scares you. But the perfect word to describe all of it? Not there yet.

That was me too, for weeks. I kept a running list of ideas on my phone I was praying about, but none felt quite right. Finally, I took my own advice. Slowly read through the list I’d compiled of 200 word of the year ideas. Noted the ones that gave me pause. Prayed some more. Then narrowed down to one.

Whether you’ve been thinking about your word for next year for a while, or not at all yet, I hope the list of word ideas is super helpful. It’s free, and you can grab it here.

Once you know your word, I encourage you to write it down. Tell somebody else. Put it on a phone wallpaper to remind you to lean in daily.

My friend Yohonna Smith, host of the Girls Talking Life podcast, has a Word of the Year – Word Study to help you get more out of your word. It’s a free resource, and you can download it HERE.

2024 Goal: Reflect, Not Deflect

Back to my word of the year. The one that feels like a ripped-off Band-Aid. As I read through the word list, I paused extra long at the word “reflect.” That’s the goal, right, to reflect Christ? To look like Him, talk like Him, think like Him. Mirror His heart and nature. See and treat the people around us like Jesus does.

Too often I stand in the way with my false humility and unbelief. Instead of pointing an arrow to Him, I deflect words meant in earnest because I don’t want the attention. But reflecting and deflecting are not the same thing.

Deflecting means you criticize what God’s not done with yet and make excuses for not using the gifts He’s given you. Reflecting means you let Him shine through you and readily point the praise towards Him. Deflecting makes it about you whereas reflecting is solely about Him.

The truth is self first always spells pride, even when you’re zeroed in on all you lack or mess up. You can’t give God the glory if your gaze is bent in the wrong direction.

That’s what God and I will be working through in 2024: more reflecting Him and less deflecting praise or attention.

A Prayer as You Choose Your Word of the Year

Jesus, help me pay attention Your gentle nudges. Show me the word to choose for next year. Help me lean in even when it scares me.

Just a friend over here in your corner,

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