Community: The Beautiful Secret to a Spirit-Fueled Life
Fall is for family and friends circled around fire pits, Hobby Lobby wreaths, foam-topped pumpkin-spice chai in to-go cups. Circles. They’re all around us. We can’t live without them.
Not coincidental, perhaps.
That longing you can’t silence for community–to know and be known–is neither superficial or selfish. It’s the evidence of God’s heart for you.
Belonging wasn’t your idea first. It was His. Before the first created man had breath in his lungs, God the Father, the Son, and the Spirit existed in perfect community. As Jennie Allen says, “Our God has been relational forever. It means that He created us out of relationship for relationship.”
And we feel it sharply when we’re out of sync with God’s design. While we’re created for community, many walk around feeling lonely. No matter the number of people in our periphery, aloneness is often internal. Even in a crowd of people, many feel like an outsider.
Perhaps that’s how you feel today. Like few know the actual you. Like you’re the only one without a “best friend.”
Researchers tell us the percentage of people without close friends is rising at a concerning rate. But it’s not a statistic when it’s your own life. Your own ache.
You might downplay what’s missing by staying busy. Filling your life with God-honoring activity. Trying to grow “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23). But still you crave relational depth . . . and there’s a reason why.
A Secret to a Spirit-Fueled Life
If you’re familiar with the list in Galatians 5 it’s because these qualities are referred to as fruit of the Spirit. They’re not self-produced but by-products of the Holy Spirit shaping our lives. Not a result of our effort, but rather, of our reliance on Christ.
As the Apostle Paul explains, “Now since we have chosen to walk with the Spirit, let’s keep step in perfect sync with God’s Spirit” (Galatians 5:25, The Voice). I picture a dance, where we’re dialed into every slight movement of God’s. It’s beautiful and flawless, us moving in rhythm with the Holy Spirit. He leads, and we respond with immediacy.
If we stop right here we get part of the picture. But there’s a clue in the following verse that helps us not only live like Christ, but more effortlessly.
This will happen when we set aside our self-interests and work together to create true community instead of a culture consumed by provocation, pride, and envy.
The fruit of the Spirit is not grown in a vacuum but in community. Did you catch that? There’s actually a link between the type of community you desire and a thriving, Spirit-fueled life.
Irreplaceable Community
Perhaps we cannot grasp the depths of God’s love for us unless we practice loving other people. Other people who are imperfect like us. Undeserving of God’s love, like us.
Without reasons to practice patience, we might miss how patient God is with us.
Maybe the joy that bubbles within us when we’re in a circle of friends hints at the pure joy Jesus feels when we enjoy His company.
And maybe, without community, kindness would lose its practical edge. The contract between peace and its lack would be diluted without the presence of other people. Similarly, we might take God’s goodness for granted if we were never the recipient of unexpected grace from another person.
Something powerful happens when we reflect Jesus to each other. That’s what’s irreplaceable about community. We get to see Jesus in practical ways, which helps what we know in our head make it into our hearts. At the same time, we get to do that for others.
Opportunities to Imitate God’s Nature
There’s a void in each of our souls that God alone can fill. But in God’s wisdom, He also designed us to need other people. Selflessness and togetherness–both of which involve other people–are key ingredients in a spirit-fueled life, as we learn from Galatians 5.
God is perfectly selfless. In order to imitate His nature, we need opportunities to put others before ourselves. Yes, that means the beautiful messiness of relationships are essential to growing the fruit of the Spirit in our lives.
What happens when we turn our attention inward instead? Pride and envy, as Galatians 5:26 notes. Both deepen the divide already present in our culture.
Either we tear apart at the seams or we build each other up.
Community. That’s the answer for our loneliness. The path to fruitful, Spirit-fueled life. The way to fall in sync with the Holy Spirit.
But how do we get there when it feels way out of reach?
Baby steps. We take small but intentional choices to lean into community, and we pray. We ask God for the friendships our hearts long for. Ask Him to grow us into the type of friend that we seek.
God made you for community, and I’m believing with you for it. Because when our desires align with His, God says yes. It may not look exactly as we expect, but God, who always keeps His promises, says this:
Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.
So we shape our prayers to promises in God’s Word, and we step forward in faith. We pay attention to the people in front of us. We offer the first smile. We open up a little. We share our table.
Relationships don’t grow overnight, but they’re worth building. Here are a few quick tips:
1. Look right in front of you.
It’s so easy to overlook the people nearest us–our neighbors. But friendships with the added benefit of proximity create powerful community. Who in your neighborhood are you drawn to get to know on a deeper level? Begin to pray regularly for that person and look for opportunities to connect with and bless her.
2. Make eye contact.
Eye contact communicates value. It says, “You matter. I see you.” It’s a small but intentional way to move towards connection. As often as you can, look people in the eye. When you check your mail and see someone else outside, acknowledge your neighbor with eye contact. If it sparks a brief conversation, lean in. Be genuine. Focus on making your neighbor feel seen.
3. Spend time in your front yard.
This is a game-changer. The more we stay hidden in our houses and behind our security fences, the harder it is to get to know our neighbors. To increase visibility, intention to spend some time in your front yard on a weekly basis.
What could you bring outside with you so you can continue what you’re already doing, but in your front yard? Your laptop or phone? A book? A few toys for your child?
Don’t overcomplicate it. Simply let yourself be seen more often. You automatically become more approachable when your face is familiar.
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I’ll leave you with a prayer to borrow as you seek community.
God, You see the desire in my heart for rich community. You placed it there on purpose. Lead me, one small step at a time, towards deeper friendships. Give me courage to open up to others and to reflect You through my words and actions. As I step forward in trust, fill in the gap. Meet me in my lack and hesitation. Grow Your Spirit-fruit in me as I lean into relationships with people right in front of me.
In Your name, Jesus, I pray. Amen.
Just a friend over here in your corner,
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