1 Simple Way to De-stress, Prioritize, and Balance Your Life

Remember when I ran out of gas twice in the same day? I do.

It was early 2000’s and I was driving a worn red Tempo with crank windows and a “Fall madly in love with God” sign duct taped in a back window. Thankfully, I had a gas canister and was a short walk from a gas station when my car sputtered and stopped the first time. But my college budget and optimism convinced me to not finish filling my tank before a trip across the bridge into Duluth that evening. And deja vu.

I’m also chronically late, not because I move too slow but because I try to squeeze too many things in before I leave.

You too?

You attempt to fit ten minutes into five. Say “just a minute” to convince yourself you’re trying to hurry. Never go early to a birthday party because you assume everyone else scrambles until guests arrive too.

Also this: At any given moment you could list ten things you need to do. No matter if it’s 6 in the morning or 10 at night.

You keep all the tabs open on your computer.

Unread emails? Let’s move on.

You’re short with your spouse because you’re thinking of all the things you don’t have time for when he makes one little request.

Impatient with your kids.

Hard on yourself.

I get the way it deflates you when you feel constantly behind. How you wish you laughed more easily, spent more time with friends, felt closer to God.

And I’ve got good news for you today. You can work hard and have deep, thriving relationships. It doesn’t have to be one of the other.

Go-getter, God’s got you. He treasures your honest heart and your excellent work brings Him glory. But you are more than what you can accomplish. To Him. And to your family. Neighbors. Co-workers or fellow students. Friends. Community.

He’s inviting you to balance and margin that will refuel you and enable you to live on mission. We’ll always feel dry on the inside unless the love of God is filling us and overflowing through us. At the end of the day, the things we’ve accomplished matter less than the way we’ve lived and who we’ve loved.

At the end of the day, the things we’ve accomplished matter less than the way we’ve lived and who we’ve loved.

Missional life looks like a triangle

Can we uncomplicate missional living? Let’s picture a triangle. At the top, we have our relationship with Jesus. Mike Breen named this point UP in Building a Discipleship Culture. Next, we have deep relationships with other Christ-followers. Breen calls this point IN. Finally, but equally important, we have the overflow—the way God’s love overflows from inside us and loves others in tangible ways—or OUT, as Breen phrases it.

The triangle, Breen writes, is an invitation to “live in deeper relationships that are balanced between our life with God, life within the church and life with people who don’t know Jesus yet.” The inspiration for Breen’s model is the way Jesus Himself lived.

Jesus, who was never rushed and impatient, asked a question in Matthew 11:28-30 that He’s also asking you and I today.

Let’s read from The Message translation:

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.

This passage is permission to exhale. Let the tension in your shoulders leave. Tip your chin up.

God is right here. He’s not mad at you for being busy. He loves you.

God is not mad at you for being busy_Twyla Franz quote for The Uncommon Normal

“Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it,” says the One with mission imprinted deep on His heart. And if His life looked like UP, IN, and OUT, maybe ours should as well.

But without a plan and some intention, the triangle becomes a loosely-held objective. We give it some thought now and then, but if we really stopped to assess we sound like my washing machine when it’s out of balance.

It doesn’t have to be this way, though.

Daily Brain Dump Sheet

I created a simple tool to help you destress, prioritize, and balance your life. Actually, I made it as much for me as I did for you because the brain dump strategy I adopted at the beginning of this year was faulty.

If you’ve never tried a brain dump, the idea is that it conserves mental energy because you don’t have to carry your to-do list around in your head all day. You free-write a list of everything on your mind so you can then focus on one thing at a time.

The problem with my brain dump strategy was that I was getting more things done but not making more room for relationships. So I added categories to prompt me to include UP, IN, and OUT every day.

Abiding: With God

At the top is a section for what’s bringing me closer to Jesus. Anything that makes space to abide with Jesus goes here. It might look like your quiet time, turning on worship songs, blocking off five minutes to go outside and ask God what’s on His heart for you today. I labeled this section “with God” to remind me that I need to stay close to God if I want Him to be in what ripples out from my life.

Stewarding: Through God

The tasks that are mine to do is what I’m stewarding. There is a place for hard work. It brings God glory when we “put [our] heart and soul into every activity [we] do, as though you are doing it for the Lord himself and not merely for others” (Colossians 3:23 TPT). I labeled this task section “through God” as a reminder that it’s Him inside me that strengthens me to steward my responsibilities well.

Relating: Because of God

The final section encompasses IN and OUT because both are about relationships with other people. This check-and-balance ensures that I’m giving others access to my life. The heart of missional neighboring is getting close to Jesus and letting others in close enough to know the things God’s working on inside us.

I include things like scheduling time to meet with a friend, a chunk of white space so I can be available and interruptible, a neighborhood walk, popping over to say hi to a neighbor, and inviting a neighbor kid over to play. This section is labeled “because of God” because our relationships and our ripples are the overflow of our time abiding in His presence.

At the bottom of the brain dump sheet is a space to write how many hours you slept the night before. We’re better able to be present in our time with God, time with others, and time spent working when we’re well-slept, so this will help you track your sleeping habits.

If you’d find my brain dump sheet helpful, you can download it free here:

I wanted to leave you with the prayer I’m praying over you today.

Jesus, I pray for the ones efficient with their time but lonely inside. You created us to need relationship with You and others. Help us to “walk with you and learn from you.”

Some of us are easily distracted. Thank you, Jesus, for Your relentless grace. Show us the beauty of balance. Draw us close. Give us courage to give others access to our lives. Fill us so that we overflow.

Just a friend over here in your corner,

Let’s start neighboring the uncomplicated way!

Have you ever wished the people who live next to you were not just your neighbors, but your friends? The sort of friends who know the messy stuff and walk with you through it. Share meals, watch each other’s kids, generously lend tools, that ingredient you can’t cook dinner without, time.