Ashes to Diamonds: A Story of the Power of Gratitude
Just over eight years ago, I became the third mom to my new husband’s adopted sons. In the early years of our marriage, family life little resembled peaceful co-existence. My husband and I had both suffered the death of our previous spouses and so carried unhealed wounds into the marriage. Also, we each brought with us traumatized sons who had no desire to become a loving blended family.
In addition, my husband and his boys moved into my little townhouse in the suburbs of Baltimore so I could remain close to my special needs son’s residential home. His boys felt betrayed in every way, and I became an easy target of their anger. Their actions were understandable but that didn’t make the pain I felt any less painful.
Able to recite every wrong, I grew increasingly angry and my heart filled with rage and bitterness to the point of hatred. I knew I was wrong, but my world was spiraling out of control as hatred and depression strangled my spirit. I felt trapped and unable to escape.
But God . . .
It neared Christmas just past our second anniversary, and as I looked through the Christmas issue of Christian Book Distributors, I came across Ann Voskamp’s Advent devotional, The Greatest Gift. I was looking for a new Advent devotional, and I eagerly read the summary and then noticed her book, One Thousand Gifts. I was instantly intrigued as the Spirit alerted me to pay attention. I had never heard of Ann Voskamp and decided to think about the books a few days before purchasing them. Since I couldn’t get the books off my mind, within a week or two I ordered both.
Throughout Advent, The Greatest Gift fed my soul. After the new year, I began reading One Thousand Gifts and was mesmerized. Almost every word spoke healing and truth into my raw, wounded soul. I dog-eared and underlined page after page and recorded whole paragraphs in my journal. Ann’s poetic style and unveiled story lighted a way out of my dark dungeon.
I eagerly started my own one thousand gifts journal and asked the Holy Spirit to open my eyes to God’s daily gifts around me. It became a delight to seek new and amazing gifts for which I had days before only taken for granted, blind eyes being opened to God’s wonder.
Ten gifts quickly became twenty. Twenty became fifty, and my spirit found its chains loosed by the power of gratitude. Slowly and beautifully attitudes transformed as depression slithered away, no longer at home in the presence of a heart reveling in God’s simple daily gifts for me alone.
Ashes to diamonds
Within time, my heart was so transformed that in one night of intense battle, the Holy Spirit walked me through forgiveness as my heart had been strengthened and healed enough by Ann’s words to let go and trust God for the rest of the story.
It would be years of digging in, praying, and letting go through the power of the Holy Spirit and the Word before I finally experienced the gift my stepsons have become. We are still a work in progress at this thing called a blended family, but God has been faithful. A lesson in gratitude was the catalyst for this transformation.
Even now as I write, many years later, tears well as I reflect on those days and upon God-love that set me free in the rawness. I am also learning that once a habit, gratitude becomes a golden key that opens the heart to embrace more extravagant God gifts.
Although I no longer regularly maintain my gratitude journal, if I find myself slipping back into depression, a loving God reminds me to renew that practice.
I have come to experience that gratitude is a powerful tool when it is lavished on the God who has given us all good things. For gratitude reminds me I am not alone and never will be. It opens my eyes to God’s gifts that surround me, giving evidence that God is powerful, able, and willing to take my ashes and make them beautiful glittering diamonds in his hands.
Meet Robin Seaton
RLSeaton (Robin) is above all an avid Jesus follower, because “He’s brought me to life and has completely stolen my heart!” She is married to a wonderful man, and mom to three handsome men and Holly the dachshund. She is also a published author, Bible study teacher, speaker, mentor, and blogger who loves to point those battered by life to the hope she’s found in Jesus. She relaxes by photographing nature, traveling, gardening, and spending time with friends.
Where to find her . . .
Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.
My vision for this gratitude series is to help others embrace a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only their own life, but the lives of their neighbors as well.
If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.
Creating Ripples
If you would like to cultivate rhythms in addition to gratitude that will empower you live on mission in your neighborhood, check out Cultivating a Missional Life: A 30-Day Devotional to Gently Help You Open Your Heart, Home, and Life to Your Neighbors. This small book will help you make a big impact in your neighborhood as you learn to let missional living flow from the inside out. Get the 30-day missional living challenge free when you purchase the book.
2 Comments
Natalie
So beautiful! I love the wording to “lavish” our gratitude on God!
twyla
That word stuck out to me as well!