A Husband’s Guide to Neighborhood Missional Community
Can you tell me what is it that you do? No fluff, just the meat and bones version? Guys, this one’s just for you. Today we answer the question: What exactly is a neighborhood missional community, and how can I replicate it where I live?
What is it you do on Friday nights?
On Friday nights we host a gathering comprised largely of neighbors. Many walk, at least if the weather is nice. We’ve set a meal theme beforehand—like Italian, Mexican, appetizers, or Costco favorites—and everyone brings something to contribute to the meal. From 6-7pm we mingle, catch up, and eat together, kids included. Then around 7:00 the kids head downstairs with a sitter and the adults move to the living room for a video and discussion. We mostly use resources on Right Now Media but have done a book study as well. Before we part ways, we all chip in something (cash or Venmo) for the sitter.
That sounds like my small group. What’s different about a missional community?
A missional community is a balanced focus between our connection to God (UP), our connection with each other (IN), and our connection with those beyond the group (OUT). (UP, IN, and OUT is something we learned from resources by Caesar Kalinowski and Mike Breen through Everyday Mission training). The studies we choose and the way we engage in group discussion are purposeful in helping the whole group grow in all three areas.
Similar to a small group, we dig into scripture or topic studies together. This serves to strengthen our UP connection with God. We also encourage each other in our faith journeys by sharing some “what’s working for us” tips, praying for each other, and helping provide accountability in areas of struggle. Additionally, both during missional community gatherings and throughout the week, we get to grow through where God is at work in each other. This is essentially what organic discipleship is—letting the things God is doing in our life ripple out beyond us.
We strengthen our IN through real talk and spending time together. On Friday nights, we laugh together, celebrate with each other, listen to each other, ask hard questions, be vulnerable with each other, and give each other grace. But Friday nights is not the only time community is formed. Because we are neighbors, it’s easier to really do life together throughout the week. Our connection is formed at least as much through the informal get-togethers, bike rides together, projects worked on together, meals shared, tools loaned and borrowed, ingredients shared, babysitting swapped—life-on-life stuff. Missional community is different than a typical small group because it’s not just something we do once a week but the way we try to do life together throughout the week.
Our OUT endeavors are a mix of serving needs inside the neighborhood and joining together to meet other local needs. The goal is for OUT to become a rhythm so we don’t wait for an organized event to respond to opportunities to show God’s love in practical ways. It’s so much fun to be part of being a blessing to someone who doesn’t at all expect it. It goes without saying that OUT grows us in both IN and UP as well.
How do I do that in my neighborhood?
This is not a how-to, but some practical steps to guide you. Begin at whichever action step is new to you.
1. Start by being visible. It’s so much easier to get to know your neighbors when you spend time where you can be seen. Find something to do in your front yard that doesn’t have to be done inside.
2. Show that you are genuinely glad to see your neighbors when you see them outside.
3. Adopt a posture of humility. We all still have so much to learn. Humility will get you so much further than pretending you have it all together all the time.
4. Seek to grow personally in UP, IN, and OUT. How are you and God? Who are you letting in close enough to really know you? Who are you serving?
5. Look for opportunities to share what God is working on in your own life.
6. Once you have a solid friendship developed with several families in your neighborhood, you may ask God if starting a missional community is the next step.
7. If the answer is wait, keep asking God to guide you to each next step He has in your story.
8. If the answer is yes, invite those families to join you for a study. Consider starting with just one study so it’s a short-term commitment. If there is interest in continuing on afterwards, go for it.
9. Communicate the plan and any expectations on what to contribute—great communication is a great place to start.
10. Let God lead. The road will sometimes be bumpy. Sometimes you will have more questions than answers. Stay close to Him and let Him do what He does best—be the Guide.
Are there additional resources you recommend?
If you like books, Small is Big, Slow is Fast: Living and Leading Your Family and Community on Mission by Caesar Kalinowski is hands-on and practical. In the appendix section he even includes a timeline you can use to help you start a missional community. Building a Discipling Culture by Mike Breen will equip you with discipleship content in the form of easily remembered life-shapes.
If you listen to podcasts, Caesar Kalinowski’s 123 Lifeschool Podcast is a great equipping tool.
Lastly, I’ll point to you a few of my own blog posts you may find helpful:
Shared Meals Cultivate Community offers you a step through our front door on a Friday night. Learn the ins and outs of how we share community meals.
Cultivating a Life Worth Imitating is about organic discipleship and the ripple effect, a key component of missional community.
The Road Forward to Missional Community explains how we used the framework of UP, IN, and OUT in choosing a book study on the Enneagram to do together with our missional community.
The Obstacles to Neighborhood Missional Living Series addresses many of the big hurdles to missional living, like when you don’t know where to start, you are an introvert, your spouse is not on board, or your house is small. The full list of topics as well as where to find them on the blog or listen to the podcast version is available through this link.
One final note about missional community
Starting a missional community in your neighborhood may sound big, scary, exciting, unrealistic, or any combination of these. It’s not a journey that is straightforward every step of the way. Lean into the learning and give yourself grace for the failures. Starting with smaller steps like getting to know your neighbors and beginning to do life together throughout the week paves the road for a more structured weekly gathering. Keep people your priority as you learn to truly love your neighborhood and see your neighbors through God’s eyes. Let all you do and say be done in love.
May I pray for you as we close?
Jesus, would you meet right now every person reading or listening? I ask for more, Lord—more of You, more vision, more open doors to connect with neighbors. Would You be their guide each and every step of the way as they consider what it might look like to start a missional community in their neighborhood? In Your holy name, Jesus, I pray. Amen.
