5 Lessons Learned Along the Way I’m Grateful for Now
My sweet mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s almost five years ago, yet Alzheimer’s wasn’t the first devastation we had experienced together. Mom had not only lost Dad but two children as well. Her grit to face the unknown that came with each loss challenged me to do the same.
Who would think I would find gratitude for this journey? But gratitude for lessons learned along the way is the unexpected gift I received.
5 life lessons learned along the way
1—Facing the unknown with courage gives strength for another day.
The time came when it was best to move mom to an Assisted Living, Memory Care facility. She agreed to go but did not realize the move would be permanent. Tears streamed our cheeks while decorating her apartment, placing each item to look and feel like home. At first, mom liked her new place, but it wasn’t long until she wanted to leave and return to her house.
Time marched on along with her ability to communicate effectively. Delirious, she tried to escape more than once. Staff informed us it was time to move her to memory care. It felt like a wrecking ball slamming against my heart, shattering all hope for the best, whatever I imagined that to be. We managed to make the new room like the one in Assisted Living, but the feel of this unique place was not even close. Mom didn’t fully grasp the change. The disease had already erased the other room from her memory. While I hated seeing the decline, I noticed myself grateful that she didn’t know the difference.
2—Notice the blessing amid pain, be grateful, and let it change you for the better.
I grew to love those that cared for my mom and expressed my gratitude often. It isn’t an easy job; they aren’t perfect, but they have the grace to do it well, and I appreciate that. I was encouraged to put a camera in mom’s room to see the reasons for recent falls. I viewed it every morning and night. Often, I heard her tell staff,” Thank you, honey,” and now and then, “I love you .” Even with that, I found myself complaining of things not done the way I expected.
Control; it’s exhausting. I knew I had to lay it down and trust God. Her words echoed in my mind,” Thank you, honey, and I love you.” Love and appreciation would nourish the staff in caring for mom and feed my heart as well.
3—Control kills while love never fails; let go of control and love well.
I felt a nudge one Friday to see mom. Exhausted from a hard day at work, I chose to go the following day instead. On my way, I got the call: no visitors allowed. Covid shut everything down. My heart sank, and through sobs of regret, questions consumed me. Why didn’t I go yesterday? How long will this last? Will mom feel forgotten?
Thankful for my relationship with the staff, I reached out. Graciously, they assured me they’d FaceTime and do all they could to help. Mom didn’t understand our attempts to explain why I couldn’t be with her, but she seemed to adapt and was grateful for every FaceTime conversation. I learned to be grateful too.
4—Take action when the nudge of God comes and be grateful for the things that make a challenging situation better.
Every resident, along with mom, came to life when visitors were allowed back in. It was a sight to behold. The increase of decline was overshadowed by the joy of embrace, making it clear that connection feeds our souls.
5 (and beyond)—The lessons of life, when intertwined with gratitude, can transform our hearts and make us better people, able to endure the hard with a new perspective. When life tries to isolate, fight for connection.
Gratitude . . .
gives us courage,
produces love,
brings a new perspective,
and, makes us better . . .
Meet Sherry Stout
Meet Sherry Stout, a woman who believes the ebb and flow of life is stated best in simple terms. As a lover of nature, she’s authentic, often expressing life experiences through the beauty of our Creator. She lives in Missouri and has been married for 39 imperfect years! Sherry has a daughter, a stepson, and four beautiful grandchildren. If you were to ask her why she writes, she would tell you that her hope is, as others encounter the pain and celebrations of life, her writing would draw them into the very heart of God.
Where to find her . . .
Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.
If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.
Creating Ripples
If you would like to cultivate rhythms in addition to gratitude that will empower you live on mission in your neighborhood, check out Cultivating a Missional Life: A 30-Day Devotional to Gently Help You Open Your Heart, Home, and Life to Your Neighbors. This small book will help you make a big impact in your neighborhood as you learn to let missional living flow from the inside out. Get the 30-day missional living challenge free when you purchase the book.
