3 Ways to Cope with Loss That Changes Your Entire Life
Give thanks with a grateful heart . . . give thanks because He’s given Jesus
Christ, His Son . . .
My mom was teaching me at a young age to give thanks always; no matter what, in all things, give thanks. Of course, the meaning of these words wouldn’t make sense to me until much later . . .
I experienced tremendous loss as a child. The kind of loss that changes your entire life. The kind of loss that paralyzes you and makes you feel as if you will never survive it. When I was eight years old my family and I were on our way to the beach for a family vacation when we were in a car accident that took the lives of my parents and four of my siblings. My older brother and I were the only ones in my family to survive.
As with all loss, the ones left behind are faced with a mountain in front of them: how to move forward through the unbearable. My journey is no exception. I have experienced unimaginable lows and surprising unimaginable highs. The Lord has carried me when I believed it was impossible to keep going. He has taken my life—and what should have turned out to be a tragedy—and made it into something beautiful.
Now, over 20 years later, I have found a hope and trust in God that has carried me in the darkness of my grief and has allowed me to continue my own healing by helping others with theirs. One huge way the Lord has carried me throughout the years is by revealing to me the healing power of giving thanks—in ALL circumstances.
Three major things happen when we choose to give thanks. When we give thanks, we experience healing, we help others, and we glorify God.
1. When we give thanks, we experience healing
When we are in the fog of suffering, the world around us becomes distorted. But choosing to give thanks when we are hurting helps us see the world rightly again. Gratitude helps us heal because as we begin viewing the world through a lens of thanksgiving, we are better able to feel joy and to see the world around us more brightly and clearly. Gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring the pain, but it means intentionally choosing to see the good within the hard.
2. When we give thanks, we help others
As we give thanks, we choose to focus our eyes outside of ourselves. And in doing so, we become a part of something greater than ourselves. Keeping our focus inward doesn’t do anything to help our problems. It only magnifies them and causes us to stay stuck. But in focusing our eyes outside of ourselves and onto others in the midst of hardship and even grief, we can have great impact on the world around us.
3. When we give thanks, we glorify God
Romans 5:3-4 says,
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.
God longs for us to thank him in all circumstances. When we give thanks in our sufferings, we are choosing to find beauty and joy no matter what comes our way, and this greatly glorifies God!
Meet Kaitlyn Fiedler
Kaitlyn Fiedler is the author of What Now?: Finding Renewed Life in Christ After Loss. It’s her story of how God has worked in her life, bringing her healing, through catastrophic loss. Kaitlyn is a wife and mom of two, based in SC. She is currently pursuing her masters degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. She writes for women on her blog, www.abeautifulbelonging.com.
Where to find her . . .
Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.
If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.
Creating Ripples
If you would like to cultivate rhythms in addition to gratitude that will empower you live on mission in your neighborhood, check out Cultivating a Missional Life: A 30-Day Devotional to Gently Help You Open Your Heart, Home, and Life to Your Neighbors. This small book will help you make a big impact in your neighborhood as you learn to let missional living flow from the inside out. Get the 30-day missional living challenge free when you purchase the book.
