How to Neighbor Well as an Enneagram 7: Enneaneighboring Summer Series

You might be an Enneagram 7 if

• You want to see and experience it all.
• You can put a positive spin on anything.
• You wish life had a fast-forward button.
• You’re an avoider (especially if it’s painful).
• You are enthusiastic and optimistic.
• You’re uncomfortable with negative emotions.
• You love to try new things.
• You feel anxious more often than most people know.
• You are a dreamer.
• You’re future-oriented.
• You are spontaneous.
• You think about the consequences later. Maybe.
• You can put a positive spin on anything.
• You’re afraid sometimes. But let’s not talk about it.
• You’ve got a lot of ideas bouncing around in your head at any given moment.
• You feel you must stay busy.
• You laugh often.
• The anticipation is half the fun!

Maybe you’re upbeat and cheery on the surface, but beneath the surface, you feel squeezed. Pressured. Anxious. Exhausted.

Maybe you’re not sleeping well.

Maybe it scares you that you could be underwhelming.

Maybe your joy—that flame inside that makes you feel alive—is something others just don’t get, something you’ve been criticized for.

If that’s you, would you pull up a chair a stay awhile? Today we’re talking about you: why we need you, how we can better love you, and ways you can use your strengths to neighbor well.

But first, let back up for anyone unfamiliar with the Enneagram. To put it simply, the Enneagram is a kind friend committed to balancing grace and truth. It’s a lens that lets us see ourselves and those around us more clearly. It’s similar to a personality test, but its focus is on motivations, not behaviors, on growing, not just accepting our weaknesses along with our strengths.

We’re talking about both today—the things that you’d rather stuff down and keep out of sight, and the beautiful things about you that delight God and the people who know you.

We’re talking about the encouragement that flows freely from you. The way you light up every room you walk into. How you smile with your eyes too.

We’re also talking about what you need to feel cherished and how you can grow in both your strengths and the things that push you against your grain.

We’re talking about the things that hurt that you’d prefer to side-step. We’re talking about what happens when you can stay and talk about your pain.

We’re talking about being real, even when life isn’t pretty. We’re talking about how it deepens our relationships when we embrace the hard conversations—and how God shows up big in the middle of it.

And we’re talking about the times you’ve been misunderstood or put down.

Somedays you feel you can’t get away fast enough. Somedays you feel what’s next has got to be better. Sometimes you feel like you’re missing out.

Today, this is what I want your heart to hear: Joy is a gift from God, and He gives only good gifts. You are a gift from God, and He gives only good gifts.

When you feel stuck, turn to Him.

When you feel bored, turn to Him.

When you feel anxious, turn to Him.

When you feel like running, run to Him.

He is the greatest adventure. He’s a God of creativity and variety and risk and relationship. And He’s inviting you to the greatest adventure of your life, but you’ll miss it if you don’t stay by His side.

10 Things to love about Enneagram 7s

1. She is easy to like.
2. She makes life a whole lot more fun.
3. She is a natural encourager.
4. She’s delightfully curious and creative.
5. She encourages you to lighten up and laugh more.
6. Her optimism is contagious.
7. She is on the lookout for new experiences to do together.
8. She can find the good in any situation.
9. She sees change as part of the adventure.
10. She is a quick learner and skilled multitasker.

10 Ways to love your neighbors well as an Enneagram 7

1. Offer your encouragement and ready smile to your neighbors.
2. Invite neighbors to try new things with you.
3. Endeavor to stay realistic—with your expectations and ideas.
4. Lean into the hard conversations that bring you closer to the people you care about.
5. Be an inviter and includer. You’re a needed component of neighborhood community.
6. Share your wisdom and faith journey with someone younger than you.
7. Choose to be present, no matter what’s coming next.
8. Talk about your anxious thoughts—with God and others you trust.
9. Stay committed.
10. Seek an accountability partner right in your own neighborhood.

10 Ways to better love your Enneagram 7 neighbor

1. Help her stay present in her right-here, right-now life.
2. Encourage her to share how she’s really doing, especially when she’s hurting.
3. Give her the gift of more time so she can do something she’d been dying to do.
4. Stay positive, speak to her gently, and don’t criticize her joy.
5. Affirm her when you see her making strides in self-discipline.
6. Plan something she can look forward to—and tell her just enough so she can savor the anticipation too.
7. Make time to share special moments with her. Your presence makes them more special!
8. Ask her what she needs from you, and assure her it’s okay to be honest.
9. Verbalize the ways you love and appreciate her.
10. Ask her about her progress on her ideas.

Enneagram seven, God is the quiet places and the teeming-with people-spaces. He’s in the thrill of a new experience and the beauty of the ordinary. He’s in the pain and broken places, and He’s in the peaceful calm.

He is constant.

He’s committed.

He is Freedom.

You’re not giving up your dreams when you walk with Him. His dreams are bigger, brighter, better. And He wants to share them with you—live them out with you.

But you’ve got to let Him into the places you’ve kept off limits. Commit to being real. Commit to staying. Commit to letting Him lead.

I’ll leave you with a few questions to guide your heart-to-heart with God:

Reflection questions for Enneagram 7s

1. What have you been avoiding for too long?
2. What pain do you need to name?
3. Where do you see good in the hard?
4. Are you actively seeking accountability?
5. What do you do when you feel anxious?

Just a friend over here in your corner,

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