How to Neighbor Well as an Enneagram 6: Enneaneighboring Summer Series

You might be an Enneagram 6 if

• You’re often thinking about what might go wrong.
• You tend to over-prepare.
• Loyalty is very important to you.
• You gravitate towards the safest option.
• You are extremely dependable.
• You worry sometimes. Or all the time.
• You work well on a team.
• You’re never without a back-up plan.
• You are an excellent planner.
• You stand for the greater good of all.
• You don’t break trust. Ever.
• Your mind rarely rests.
• You keep it all running.
• Your initial response is skepticism.
• You research thoroughly.
• Make calculated decisions.
• You don’t forget details.
• You have a vivid imagination.

Maybe you’ve been busy holding everything together for everyone else. Maybe your mind is on overdrive even when your hands are still. Maybe you’ve nearly forgotten what it feels like to rest.

If that’s you, I invite you to take a time out. A time out from thinking about what you still need to prepare for. A time out from weighing all the options. A time out from the second-guessing and self-doubting. A time out from juggling all the things for your people.

Your people need you. We need you. But we need you rested. Secure in the unwavering love and protection of Jesus. Open-hearted and open-handed.

That’s why we’re talking about the Enneagram today: it helps us better understand ourselves and the people around us so we can be better together. Better in community. Better on mission.

The Enneagram, if you’re not familiar with it, is a tool that helps us see our underlying motivations, fears, and strengths, as well as the ruts that tend to trap us. As we discover how others are wired differently than us, we nurture curiosity and empathy. We see how we answer each other’s questions. Look out for each other. Help each other navigate blind spots. Call each other up into strengths and giftings.

Friend, you have permission to rest a while. Find your favorite place to read and let’s dig in.

Today, we’re talking about you: why we need you, how we can better love you, and ways you can use your strengths to neighbor well.

We’re talking about how we cherish your friendship. We’re talking about how you’re always looking out for us. We’re talking about how prepared you are for whatever might happen next.

We’re also talking about how you feel anxious sometimes. How your thoughts can spiral out of control. How you’re trustworthy but have a hard time trusting others.

Somedays you feel unfairly judged. Somedays you’re really hard on yourself. Somedays it feels like no one gets the gravity of what you’re saying.

Today, this is what I really want you to know: God wants to listen. He wants to hear you out. He cares about everything—big and small—that matters to you.

He won’t walk away.

He won’t tell you you’re overreacting.

He won’t interrupt you.

He will always be there for you. Without fail. Without condition.

And when you’re with Him, you’re safe no matter what’s going on all around you.

10 Things to love about Enneagram 6s

1. She is a loyal, trustworthy friend.
2. She is more prepared than you are.
3. She is always looking out for you.
4. She will handle the planning.
5. She balances you out.
6. She is reliable.
7. She won’t try to outshine you.
8. She’s the queen of the contingency plan.
9. She is the backbone of a strong community.
10. She’s calm when everything truly does fall apart.

10 Ways to love your neighbors well as an Enneagram 6

1. Nurture family-like community in your neighborhood.
2. Commit to a daily time with God—then share how it helps you trade fear for faith.
3. Drop the prerequisites for earning your trust.
4. Endeavor to look for the positive possibilities too.
5. Let go of what isn’t yours to control.
6. Mediate on scripture when you feel anxious. You can love others best when you’re healthy.
7. Lend your problem-solving prowess to a neighbor in need.
8. Help neighbors see how they are on the same team.
9. Empower others to deepen their friendships by sharing your best tips.
10. Offer support through your caring and listening.

10 Ways to better love your Enneagram 6 neighbor

1. Hear her out. It helps her trust you.
2. Thank her for sharing her suggestions.
3. Redirect her to Jesus when her fears spiral.
4. Call out her courage even when she doesn’t feel brave.
5. Affirm her ability to makes decisions.
6. Do what you say you’ll do so she can lean on you.
7. Spend quality time with her.
8. Help her loosen up and laugh a little.
9. Remind her that she’s human and humans aren’t perfect.
10. Encourage her make a habit of self-reflection and gratitude.

Enneagram six, there’s a spot for you right next to God—where you’re infinitely safe and most dearly loved. It’s open, and He’s waiting.

You’re not alone.

You’re not on your own.

You don’t have to carry it all. Be it all. See it all. Know it all.

God is Protector. Shepherd. Rock of Ages.

He will hold you, carry you, keep you—today and always.

So trust Him more than you trust anyone else. Trust that He speaks. Trust His wisdom. Trust His direction.

He won’t ever let you down.

So come in close. Let Him calm you with His love.

Here are a few reflection questions to let God continue His work on your heart:

Reflection questions for Enneagram 6s

1. Where do you turn when you feel insecure?
2. What fears do you need to name?
3. Who are you blaming?
4. What’s gone well that you can be grateful for?
5. Do you believe God speaks to you?

Just a friend over here in your corner,

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