Hard times: a chronic illness reality

In my 43 years, I’ve spent more time in the hospital than I care to calculate. My condition, a rare connective tissue disorder, means any new twinge or pain could be serious. Frequent doctor’s visits, ER trips, hospitalizations and ICU stays often come with the territory for those, like me, who live with a chronic illness.

Life could easily be riddled with paralyzing fear over the “what ifs” if I hadn’t learned how to turn my gaze to God’s goodness in the midst of uncertainty. In recent years, I’ve started a gratitude practice to help strengthen my “thankfulness reflex” in preparation for life’s hardest days. Almost daily, I take out my floral journal and write five simple things I’m grateful for—anything from big moments of God’s provision to laughter with my nine-year-old son.

A faith hero of mine is Joni Eareckson Tada, who has been a quadriplegic for 50-plus years after a diving accident in her teens. She has also endured relentless chronic pain and two bouts of cancer. Her go-tos when she’s feeling discouraged are gratitude and singing hymns. She doesn’t deny her pain or hardship, but she seeks God in it.

“Gratitude goes to work informing your faith, reminding you that you have every reason to trust God for the future,” writes Joni. Our endurance is built when we remember God’s faithfulness of the past.

Grief and gratitude

Giving thanks is not simply a band-aid in seasons of suffering, but a deliberate act of faith and obedience. Grief and gratitude can co-exist on our lips and in our hearts. I can mourn another surgery, while expressing thankfulness for God’s provision of skilled doctors and an attentive caregiver husband.

When facing trials, lament is an important step to process our pain and a gateway to gratitude and deeper trust in God himself. “Lament is a prayer in pain that leads to trust,” writes Mark Vroegop, author of Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy.

God is near to us in our pain (Psalm 34:18) and keeps track of our tears (Psalm 56:8). The source of gratitude comes from knowing God’s character as near, present, good and kind. He sent a suffering Savior to identify with our pain, and recounting God’s characteristics reminds us that God does not forget or forsake us.

The fruit of gratitude

In my daily gratitude journaling, I’ve learned that shifting my gaze from myself to God’s gifts bears fruit. Thankfulness is God’s idea, and studies confirm its benefits.

The fruit of consistent gratitude in my life includes:

• Endurance and perseverance: When my health has me sidelined, I can recall God’s past faithfulness to sustain me in today’s difficulties. On these days, gratitude sounds like, “God, thank you that I can rest today. Thank you for taking care of me during past emergencies and for helping me endure pain beyond what I could bear on my own.”

• Peace and reduced anxiety: According to Philippians 4:6-7, presenting our prayers with thanksgiving paves the way for peace rooted in Christ. “God, my body is weak today. Thank you that your strength is made perfect in weakness and grace that’s enough to get me through today.”

• Hope for eternity: As believers, we know with confidence that suffering isn’t the end of the story. Jesus tells us in John 16:33 that we will face trials, but that we can take heart because he overcame the world. With gratitude, we can remind ourselves of the long view of suffering. “Thank you, God, for a plan to escape grief and pain. Today’s hurt is real, but you tell me that it’s producing an eternal weight of glory. You will wipe away my tears and replace them with everlasting joy.”

A game plan for gratitude

During past hospital stays, my husband has kept diligent records of every medicine distributed, every conversation with doctors, and each test result. He became adept at quickly packing a hospital bag and calling in help to care for our young son. God was real and present during our darkest days.

But my daily gratitude practice wasn’t in place yet—and that’s one tool I’m adding to our hospital survival kit. When I’m the patient, I can’t do a lot of things, but I can do some things. And that includes listing five things I’m grateful for each day. Some days the list might include pain meds and a kind nurse. I want to post my gratitude list on a marker board or somewhere visible so that my eyes are lifted to God’s goodness even in a hospital room.

I’m finding that daily gratitude rooted in God’s character is producing hope and endurance for life’s hard times. To prepare for trials that may threaten to shake your faith, grab a pen and begin your own gratitude practice today.

Meet Erica Baldwin

Where to find her . . .

• Website
• Download a free devotional here (Rest in Jesus: Nighttime Devotions to Calm an Anxious Heart)
• Instagram
• Facebook

Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.

If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.

Creating Ripples

If you would like to cultivate rhythms in addition to gratitude that will empower you live on mission in your neighborhood, check out Cultivating a Missional Life: A 30-Day Devotional to Gently Help You Open Your Heart, Home, and Life to Your Neighbors. This small book will help you make a big impact in your neighborhood as you learn to let missional living flow from the inside out. Get the 30-day missional living challenge free when you purchase the book.