My unusual gratitude list . . .

I got the call Monday, July 29, 2013. Normally, men in uniform would have come to my door, but we’d just moved into a house, and I hadn’t done a change of address yet. My dad called me instead. I’m grateful for my procrastination. My brother was serving as a combat medic in Afghanistan, and as he was rendering aid in a guard tower, he was hit by shrapnel. His death was immediate. I’m grateful he didn’t suffer. Military procedures are detailed and very vague; for two weeks, I was in my hometown, helping my parents plan a funeral without knowing when we could actually hold it. I’m grateful my best friends never moved away and were able to support me. One let me, my husband and son, stay with them for the entire two weeks. Another took me shopping for an outfit for the funeral since I hadn’t packed one. Another checked on me even though she had just given birth.

Perhaps the thing I’m most grateful for within those two weeks is a conversation that took place. I was able, divinely, to have an honest conversation with my mom’s doctor. It took place on my parent’s porch because he went to church with my parents and came by to offer condolences. I had the chance to tell the doctor to ask more questions. I had the chance to tell him to ask about manic episodes; no one will ever complain that they’re feeling wonderful. He’d only heard about the depression. I’m grateful for the conversation and the doctor’s follow-through. My mom received a formal diagnosis of bipolar disorder and began receiving medication that offered balance.

I wish my brother were still alive; he’d have been a fun uncle to my kids. I wish my mom didn’t have mental health issues. Not just for my sake, but for hers too. I wish I didn’t have grief as a result of these things. However, I’m grateful. I’m grateful for the good in the midst of the pain. I’m grateful for Jesus who came to fulfill Isaiah 61:1-3. “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant those who mourn in Zion – to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called ask of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.” (emphasis mine)

Grateful in the midst of grief

My life has involved deep grief and sorrow. However, it has also reaped beauty, joy, and peace in the midst of it all. Through Jesus, my pain continues to be transformed for His glory. I can offer hope rooted in experience rather than empty platitudes. He is faithful to comfort us and enables us to comfort others in the same way. (2 Corinthians 1:4) I’m so grateful for God’s plan, even when it looks nothing like I would have chosen. Perhaps you have experienced pain, trauma, and loss. I’m so deeply sorry.

Grief has the ability to steal our joy or be an instrument of hope. It is not easy, and it will not happen overnight, but when we are able to offer our pain to the Lord, he will use it for his glory. As you can, reflect on the difficult seasons of your life and search for ways to be grateful even in the midst of deep pain. Look for ways to offer comfort and hope to others who are grieving. If we are willing, God will use our sorrows to enable us to love well on purpose in uniquely wonderful ways.

Meet Rachel Schelb

Where to find her . . .

• Website
• Podcast: Love Well On Purpose with Rachel Schelb  — found everywhere podcasts are heard
• Instagram

Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.

My vision for this gratitude series is to help others embrace a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only their own life, but the lives of their neighbors as well.

If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.

Creating Ripples

If you would like to cultivate rhythms in addition to gratitude that will empower you live on mission in your neighborhood, check out Cultivating a Missional Life: A 30-Day Devotional to Gently Help You Open Your Heart, Home, and Life to Your Neighbors. This small book will help you make a big impact in your neighborhood as you learn to let missional living flow from the inside out. Get the 30-day missional living challenge free when you purchase the book.