what-if-I-am-scared

3 Ways to Live Missionally Even When Scared

“But what if I am scared?” may be pulsating through your mind at the thought of living missionally in your neighborhood. “Invite my neighbors into the rhythms of my everyday life? Of course, you aren’t talking to me! I’ve never discipled anyone before! I don’t know what I am doing.”

I see you. I see you because I was you. And I am so very glad you are here, bringing your curiosity along with your fear.

Fear is a very real thing. Let’s face it—sometimes we wish the choices we make were not influenced in any way by fear. But if you are like me, if we dig deep enough into “the thing behind the thing,” we find fear more often than we would like. Certainly, we are not all afraid of the same things, or afraid for the same reasons—yet fear limits us in some way just the same.

I used to avoid answering a knock at the front door. I told myself it was because I couldn’t see who was on the other side of the door—which was true, until we installed a door viewer through the solid door. But then when we moved and the front door had a peephole, I still didn’t open the door unless I was expecting someone. I told the toddlers to not peer through the blinds in the front window, to quiet their play—and found different justifications. I was home alone with two tiny girls. A friend would let me know in advance they were coming. It was safer and therefore reasonable to simply pretend to not be home if there was an unexpected knock at the door.

You see, fear builds walls, not bridges. Fear isolates us. Fear convinces us to turn back before we step forward—to not step into the unknown. Fear keeps our front door shut and our fences high. Fear shuts others out, but also shuts us in.

And it’s a lonely place indeed, here in our safely guarded spaces.

C.S. Lewis penned these words I have long treasured:

There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. (The Four Loves)

Opening your heart and home to your neighbors comes at a cost. To welcome others in is to also open yourself to the risk of being hurt. But to keep our front doors latched and our lives inaccessible also has a cost. To “play it safe” still has a high-risk tag, and the price is that our capacity to love grows smaller.

I don’t want to paint an unrealistic picture for you of what missional living looks like. As in your Christian walk, there will be bumps, curveballs, cliff-hangers, and questions lingering in the air— and enough grace to cover it all.

Living missionally will push you to be vulnerable. It will bring you face to face with your fear, and your preconceptions, and the ways you withhold yourself. It will beckon you often to stare full faced into the mirror.

And it will invite you to surrender.

Trust.

Friend, we don’t have to lose the fear before we step out in faith. The fact that we fear and still step out is what makes us human and makes us brave. It means we have walked with fear, felt its hot breath at the nape of our necks, and still said that God is more present, more true, more welcome.

Let’s walk through three specific ways we can live missionally even when we are scared. In spite of feeling scared, you can . . .

  1. Pray for open eyes to see the immense value God has given to each of your neighbors.
  2. Set a goal to make meaningful conversation with one of your neighbors this week even if it requires being intentional about bumping into them. Here are a couple ideas: A. Share a favorite fall or Thanksgiving recipe with a neighbor and tell a story about it. B. Offer a genuine compliment about something you notice about a neighbor’s yard, house, or holiday decorations; feel free to preface it with “this may sound awkward, but . . .”
  3. Ask God to guide you to each next baby step, and then practice following through.

What do we offer when the hands tremble and the thumping of our heart rings loud in our ears? Is not our most genuine offering that which we offer scared, hesitantly stepping into brave?

May our offerings today be genuine, given with hands held open. May our eyes look to You, the One we can trust even when we trust scared. You meet us in our question of “what if I am scared?” and gently lead us further into Your heart. Because when we know the Love that surrounds and empowers us to likewise love, our hearts are awakened to how very much people matter. Help us to trust that in opening our hearts to our neighbors, we open our hearts to You.


Twyla fear quote

P.S. The Uncommon Normal manifesto is FREE PRINTABLE!

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The Uncommon Normal free printable manifesto

I help imperfectly ready people take baby steps into neighborhood missional living.

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