10 Simple Tips for Navigating Christmas This Year

This is for the one holding her breath, feeling the anxious weight of the best and bustle of December. This is for the one trying to figure out exactly where good becomes too much.

This is for both of us, because I feel the squeeze too. The pressure to keep up with Pinterest and Shutterfly and your great aunt Sue’s expectations. Not disappoint your kids. Not end up in an exhausted heap of receipts and unfolded laundry.

Navigating Christmas feels like an art form we’re trying to learn with two left hands. We want soul rest. Simplicity. Snowflakes melting on noses and laughter that makes you cry.

Even more, we want to revive our faith that feels a little robotic. Not just remember, but actually know, Jesus. Find freedom in that area we’ve long been stuck. Engage in meaningful, unhurried conversation.

We want to feel Christmas—the gift of Jesus, the joy of generosity, the wonder of it all—not just go through the motions.

An Invitation to Slow Down

If you’re anything like me, you know Advent is coming but it still sneaks up on you. So you find last year’s Advent wreath an hour before dinner and clear the table because you really need a clearing in your own heart. You light a candle with wax still splattered on the tealight holder because it’s too late to scrape it clean.

Maybe your life feels a bit messy and chaotic too. You meant to order that Advent devotional but it’s still in your Amazon cart. Promised yourself you’d do less and treasure more, but you’ve got Nutcracker rehearsals stacked on top of orchestra concerts, Nutcracker performances teetering on top of a piano recital, and a birthday sandwiched in between.

No judgment here. I’m re-reading Ann Voskamp’s The Greatest Gift*. But I’m walking circles through my house as I catch up on the reading because, of course, it started Dec. 1^st, not the first day of Advent.

I get feeling behind before you get started. It’s defeating, isn’t it?

Pause here with me at a line from Ann that stopped me this year, as it has before:

In all humanity’s religions, man reaches after God.

But in all His relationships, God reaches for man.

Reaches for you who have fallen and scraped your heart raw, for you who feel the shame of words that have snaked off your tongue and poisoned the corners of your life, for you who keep trying to cover up pain with perfectionism.
Voskamp, pg. 23

We do a lot of reaching, especially in December, as if it’s all on us. Good news: it’s not. Jennifer Dukes Lee says it this way in It’s All Under Control*, which I’m reading with a few of my neighbors:

Pride can masquerade as love. We think it’s all on us. But it’s not all on us. It’s on God. Pride says, “I know more than God what is good for my life and what is good for my people. Besides, I’m doing this out of love!”

God says, “Trust a love greater than your own. This does not depend on you. Instead, you must depend on me.”
pg. 30

God reaches through all of our try-hard and cover-up and flopped attempts to resurrect an idyllic Christmas. Reaches through what’s walled off and numb. And He invites us to pause long enough to see Him.

He’s been here the whole time. Watched us bang and bruise ourselves as we attempt to be it all and do it all. He’s patient, gentle, and unhumanly kind. And He adores you.

Need a reminder? Grab this phone wallpaper to remind you that God’s face lights up when He sees you.

It’s alright to rest. You don’t need permission to fall into His grace-arms and admit you can’t be enough. You can’t make it perfect or right or even better all the time.

But He can. And He’ll start with you. Rearranging the order of what’s most important because everything else falls into place when we put Him first. As Jennifer Dukes Lee says, “Whatever places first controls me most” (It’s All Under Control*, pg. 57).

Practical Tips for Navigating Christmas

How do we unclench our tight hold on what Christmas should look like? Breathe deep and revel in awe of God who deserves all our worship? Truly see the people we treasure most dearly?

If your gift ideas and to-do list are tangled tight with expectations and self-reliance, let’s start to unravel them together. Here are some simple, doable tips for navigating Christmas that will give you breathing room. Pick a few to try and save the rest for another year.

1. Slice your expectations in half.

Do you typically make six different kinds of Christmas treats? Pick your favorite three and fully enjoy them! Is your goal to send out 50 Christmas cards? Count it a win if you get 25 in the mail.

2. Light a candle.

It doesn’t have to be a candle in an Advent wreath, just one that helps you unwind and savor life for an extra moment.

3. Commit to 10 minutes of exercise a day.

Pilates. High-intensity interval training. Walking your neighborhood, on a treadmill, through your house while you read. Your call!

4. Give yourself permission to choose the less-stress option.

A neighbor brought this up, and it’s the most welcome sort of permission. You don’t always have to do more. Let it be enough.

5. Play instrumental Christmas music.

If you love Christmas music but find it makes you a bit anxious, try instrumental. Violin is my favorite for unknotting tension, and I play this album often.

6. Give gift cards instead of picking out presents.

You like to give well-thought-out gifts but this year it feels like too much pressure. It’s okay to give gift cards instead and let your loved ones pick out the gift they truly want. Another great option is to tuck a gift card into Stuff I’d Only Tell God* (a meaningful gift for honestly everyone aside from your kids, if they’re young). While supplies last you can get Jennifer Dukes Lee’s journal for less than $11 dollars, and that includes free shipping and a 10-pack of card inspired by the journal. If case you don’t know yet, I’m big fan of the journal.

7. Set a ten-minute timer and let yourself be done at the end.

Alli Worthington talked about setting timers during your workday in The Coach School, which I recently finished watching. (Big news, by the way! I get to intern for Alli in 2024.) I find timers super helpful, not just for work, but for other things I neglect without an extra push. Here’s another idea if, like me, you’re tempted to stay constantly busy: set a timer to force yourself to rest.

8. Ask for help.

It’s the hardest, I know. But your people aren’t mind readers, and family is a team.

9. Enlist accountability to make sure you’re having fun.

Emily P. Freeman talks of having a “no mentor.” It’s truly helpful to have someone who loves you and can see more objectively than you can in the moment. But maybe what you need more this month is a “fun mentor”—someone who will speak up when she notices you’re too uptight, too stressed, too weary. It might be the same person: someone who will encourage you to say no to something so you can laugh a little more freely.

10. Schedule do-nothing time.

It’s as simple as it sounds. For over-achievers and perfectionists, this might be the very best use of your time. Put do-nothing time on your calendar every week.

Just want to say I’m thinking about you this month, juggling all that’s on your plate. I pray that you know you’re so very loved even if you do none of it. You don’t have to impress God or anyone else. God’s already smitten with you.

Just a friend over here in your corner,

* Affiliate links are used for book mentions.

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