Heading into the Amazon, I expected to return with stories of exotic adventures and lives changed—and to some degree I did—but the life most changed was my own_Brittany Tinsley for Begin Within: A Gratitude Series

Fourteen years ago this month, I made what would be my first of two trips to the Amazon Basin of Peru. The air was heavy when I stepped out of a small plane onto the blackened tarmac in Iquitos, the humidity of the surrounding rainforest clinging to me instantly.

Over the next few days, my team and I spent our time gathering supplies we would need for our weeks in the jungle—machetes and knee-high boots and nets to protect us from mosquitos and malaria. We wandered the aisles of unfamiliar bodegas buying food we thought would last in the unforgiving heat. We filled a trunk with rice and bread and a slew of nonperishables, unsure exactly how to plan for our time in the remote village we would temporarily call home. Then, in a small boat weighed down by supplies, we set out up the river.

After winding through ever-thinning tributaries for six hours, the dense trees parted to reveal a small village situated on the bank of the river. We’d arrived in Nueva Atalaya.

Although unfamiliar, my time there quickly became routine—days were spent working in yucca fields or weaving baskets from leaves of Chambira trees, and nights were filled with skies deeper and starrier than I’d ever seen. By the end of the first week, having grown tired of our usual diet of rice and plantains, our team decided to splurge by eating the bread we’d so carefully packed before leaving Iquitos. When we removed it from the trunk, though, we discovered it was covered in mold. We hadn’t considered the effects the humidity would have on our prized loaf.

Just as we were about to throw it out, one of the women in the village stopped us and asked if she could have the bread. Explaining the situation to her, we opened the package so she could see the mold covering it. She was unfazed, waving off our concern with a flurry of hand gestures, and Spanish spoken too quickly for my ears to catch. Hesitantly, we gave the loaf to her, and she tucked it under her arm to take back to her hut.

Just as we were about to throw it out, one of the women in the village stopped us and asked if she could have the bread_Brittany Tinsley for Begin Within: A Gratitude Series

My friend and I exchanged glances as we watched her go, hoping she would use it to feed the chickens pecking in the grass outside her hut. When she entered her home, bread still in hand, we debated whether we should try again to explain that eating the bread could make her sick. A weight settled on my chest as I realized she took the bread because what we saw as a disposable commodity, she saw as something that would nourish her family, regardless of its state.

Suddenly, our trunk full of food felt extravagant, indulgent. Unnecessary.

Heading into the Amazon, I expected to return with stories of exotic adventures and lives changed—and to some degree I did—but the life most changed was my own. When I arrived home after weeks in the jungle, I was overwhelmed by the American grocery stores, with their aisles full of more options than anyone could ever need. The contrast between the reality of the jungle, where food was hunted or harvested and hard to come by, and America was stark.

My heart, once full of judgement towards others whose choices I didn’t like or understand, was forever softened by a woman who took moldy bread because she was doing the best she could with what she had. The discontentment that regularly rose in my spirit when I evaluated my everyday dissipated as I finally recognized it is a blessing to be bored by our lives.

The discontentment that regularly rose in my spirit when I evaluated my everyday dissipated as I finally recognized it is a blessing to be bored by our lives_Brittany Tinsley quote for Begin Within: A Gratitude Series

All these years later, when I am tempted to slip back into the familiar disenchantment that so often accompanies the mundane, I remember that afternoon in the Amazon where I discovered, maybe for the first time, what it really meant to be grateful.

Meet Brittany Tinsley

Brittany Tinsley is a Dallas-based writer and speaker. Primarily working at the intersection of faith and mental health, Brittany uses her more-than-a-decade battle with self-injury to offer hope to those in seasons of struggle. Brittany lives with her husband, their two daughters, and an aggressively friendly, hairless cat.

Where to find her . . .

Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.

If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.

10 Things You Might Be Doing That Keep Your Friendships Shallow

(+ 1 Simple Habit to Shift Your Direction)

If you long for deep, meaningful relationships, this is for you!

Creating Ripples

If you would like to cultivate rhythms in addition to gratitude that will empower you live on mission in your neighborhood, check out Cultivating a Missional Life: A 30-Day Devotional to Gently Help You Open Your Heart, Home, and Life to Your Neighbors. This small book will help you make a big impact in your neighborhood as you learn to let missional living flow from the inside out. Get the 30-day missional living challenge free when you purchase the book.